Valentine's and Aphrodisiacs

Before i go off on my little rant, let me first wish everyone a most happy and love filled belated Valentine's Day... :)

OK... now that that's off my chest.... here goes.....

Many articles in the papers these last couple of days have commented much on valentine's, both on the positive vibes of it, as well as the cynical, pessimism of the marketing and capitalistic propaganda and hype surrounding it all...

Many people few V-day with skepticism, and cynicism, but yet still actively participate and get sucked in by the inflated prices of floral arrangements, cards, choccies and cute fluffy teddies... not to mention the more exotic and more risque and discreet presents! ;)

This begs the question of why do we need V-day? Is there any real benefit from it? Do relationships really profit from V-day? What about those who aren't attached?

I'm going to attempt to argue that V-day really does more potential harm than good... that those who participate in it, are really just getting swept in the hype and commotion of it all, and thus don't really have their "heart" (pardon intended) in it... and that those who don't participate because they either don't "believe" in it, or because they don't have a valentine, are reminded more of their singleness and the probably disillusioned perception of "lack of love" in their life...

This is why V-day does more harm than good... In any loving monogamous relationship, with all the hype surrounding this "special day", there will be much pain and disappointment if as guys, we don't make the effort to either send flowers, chocolates, a stuffed toy, a card, arrange a romantic day/night, or all the above. To me this is completely contradictory and incredulous. I mean, the reason there'll be pain and disappointment is because you "miss out" and are "left out"... everyone else got something "special" from their special someone...

Here's the question... is it really "special"?? I mean come on... how can something be special when everyone else is doing the exact same thing??? That's not special to me... that's just following the crowds... now if the guy doesn't "believe" in V-day, but his girl does, it'll do him well to make sure that he does something "special" for her lest he incurs her wrath... so then he's not really doing the "special" thing for her out of love is he? he's doing it to make sure that he appeases her and avoids incurring her wrath! Oh the insincerity!!! Oh the hypocrisy!!!

Now consider the girl who doesn't receive anything "special" from her guy, but who is deeply in love with him, and they both agree that they don't "believe" in V-day... she's in the office, and all around her ppl are receiving bouquets of beautiful long-stemmed roses (bought at over inflated prices), with a sweet little piece of "prose" or "poetry" written inside another over inflated Hallmark card... she tells herself that she doesn't believe in V-day, but yet, a part of her can't but help wish that her guy did send her something "special"... ppl in the office are complimenting each other's gifts or gossiping about what "special" rendevous they could have planned for that night... then they see her, and ask "hasn't so and so not sent u anything?? are u doing anything "special" tonight??" so she replies, "no, we don't believe in V-day... everyday is V-day for us..." to which her collegues will beleague and admonish her guy, saying that he should do something "special" for her... to which she is protesting and defending his love for yet.. but yet, inside her, she's wishing that he had sent her something, or planned something "special" for her, so that she'd feel "special"... like all the other girls in the office...

i've also heard many a story where couples have broken up over V-day... because the guy didn't do something "special" enough for her.. now one may argue that that may have been a good thing, and ended an obviously unhealthy relationship... but does it have to take V-day to be the catalyst for this? seems it potentially also brings out the worst in ppl... strange huh?

now consider the single guy or girl... they may be completely content with being single, or they could have their eye on somone, even worst still, just recently broken up... now on this "special" day, they are surrounded by amorous couples giving each other "special" gifts, holding hands and exchaging hugs and kisses, gazing longingly into each others eyes as the sun goes down sitting at a romantic candlelit table at a restaurant overlooking the harbour... now come on... admit it.. did that surely not strike a chord in your heart of some sort??? no matter how "content" you may be with being single, a part of you does yearn and desire for such "romanticised" notions of love... and for the guy or girl who has their eye on a "special someone", this day instills in them even more desire and hunger to be with them... potentially clouding their vision and judgement of them even more... they spend their day thinking of that special person, wishing and hoping that they would like them back and wondering what they're doing... to some, this may inspire them to send a "secret admirer" gift... oooo.... someone's got a secret admirer... but what use is it to admire from a distance? it doesn't show that person that you really have for feelings for them when they find out (if they find out) its you... it just tells them that u're infatuated with them.. oh and the irony of it, is that you don't want them to know that u're their secret admirer!! u won't let your friends drop them hints of your interest in them!! Curious eh?!

And then lastly consider the just recently broken up guy or girl!!! not the dumper, but the dumpee.... just imagine how they'd feel... wishing that they were still with that other person.. wishing to feel loved and "special"... where is the benefit in for them??? they'll spend the evening, sobbing to themselves, looking at past photos or letters, and in an attempt to find closure and move on, may either rip up or burn these items... some may even go so far as to start harbouring feelings of anger and hatred as they continue to brood over their lost love...

Yes i'll admit, that V-day does promote "love"... for some lucky couples, they really do have a very love filled day... and i take my hat off to them.. but on the whole, V-day doesn't promote love.. it promotes, consumerism, insincerity, jealousy, envy, selfishness, anger and hatred... how are these good things???!!!

What an ironicly contradictory day...

Bah Humbug... :P:P:P

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Aphrodisiacs

To take another tack... why are chocolates given on Valentine's Day??? I know they're supposed to be an aphrodisiac, but is that the real reason why?? How does giving a box of chocolates show love??? i mean, all it's going to inspire is a break out of acne isn't it??!!! Great aphrodisiac that is... :P

On the topic of aphrodisiacs... do people really believe in them?? much less actually use them?? i'm seeing more and more of those ads and bill posters of that product, what is it... "Wild for Men, or Women" , oh and my favourite, "Horny Goatweed"!!!! Do they really work??? who's going to eat goatweed??!!

Do they really promote love??? To me, it seems they are really promoting lust and sex! That's not love to me...

Perhaps the only aphrodisiac that i can relate to is that of fame... The Whitlams... "There's no aphrodisiac like loneliness... truth, beauty, and a picture of you..."

Strange isn't it... that it's when you aren't able to be with or have someone that your feelings of "love" for that person seem to well up the most... when u're with someone for a while and things get comfortable, but then for one reason or another, you aren't able to be with them anymore, you suddenly remember and "love" them so much more than before...

even more so after being dumped or being rejected is it not? you find your "feelings" for them are even more heightened than before... you find yourself thinking about them, dreaming about them, wishing you could be with them even more...

is it love? is it lust? i dunno... doubt it's lust as it is more infatuation... but the words of the song certainly ring true to an extent don't they??