Communication...

"Communication is the foundation of any relationship"...

some wise guy said this a long time ago. I dunno who it was that said it...
it might've even been me!! (wise guy... i hear u saying :P)

But yes...
communication is foundational for any relationship to foster, develop and grow...

but though it is foundational, it does not mean it is easy. In some relationships, communication comes easily. It is easy to develop and maintain a level of communication.

in some relationships, though u lose touch due to distance or circumstance, and hence drop out of communication, when u happen across each other or meet up, the level of communication picks right up where it was left off... as though there were no hiatus apart... these are special relationships... ones where u know u'll always feel at home with others despite the difference of time or distance...

in other more "normal" relationships, the level, depth and intensity of communication may not ebb or flow or change at all... the topics dicussed and shared may be as superficial as that of the weekend, the footy or work... nothing of much significance or importance... but this shallow and idle "chit chat" is often enough to maintain and sustain an amicable friendship.

In "special relationships", initially communication comes easily as you want to spend as much time together as possible... talking about anything and everything... wanting to get to know the other person as much as possible... emailing each other everyday, then talking for hours on the phone into the night... the depth and intensity of topics discussed range across the whole spectrum from "chit chat" to "D&Ms"... but every "chat" is significant, valued and treasured as it serves to reinforce, foster and actively grow and develop the "chemistry" that exists between two people... and ultimately serves to grow the intimacy and love shared between two people...

it is the intent of communication in this kind of relationship that sets it apart from any other... the intention to share your life with the other person in all matters big and small... this is what sets a manogamous relationship apart from a platonic relationship... should the lines of communication fail... that is when the relationship begins to slide back into "normality" towards a platonic relationship, if even...

why is communication so foundational to any relationship???
why does communication require so much time, effort and energy???
how do u restore the lines of communication in a relationship gone wrong???

communicating with another person says that you have an interest in who they are... it says that u care about who they are and what they have to say... it says that you value the relationship that you share with them...

this last week has been pretty crazy in terms of communication. My cousin got engaged last week, and this joyous news has sparked a frenzy of email correspondence among my extended family… from all my cousins to my uncles and aunts. In a way it’s been really bizarre and weird cos until now, we’ve all hardly corresponded with each other. Being scattered pretty much all over the world now, we’ve all slowly lost touch with each other. But this event has been the catalyst that has sparked a chain reaction of what can only be termed “spam mail” everyday.

What’s amazing though is that as I mentioned before, we’re corresponding like it was only yesterday that we saw each other last… sure we’re asking the usual, “so what are u up to these days?” blah blah blah, but we’re actually ribbing and paying each other out A LOT!! It’s really fascinating “listening” to what’s going on in our correspondence. Even more bizarre is how our parents are getting in on the whole “young people talk”… it’s quite weird to see your parents and uncles and aunts typing like you would on MSN, just in the way that they’re expressing themselves…

Communication is also the foundation on which accountability is forged. Without communication, there can be little if not even no accountability in any relationship. In keeping each other accountable, you maintain and develop trust, faithfulness and respect in any relationship. This is not possible without any communication. But the subject of accountability is one that I’ll leave for another extensive post some other time. :)

As important as communication is in a relationship, it takes two to tango and one to take the initiative to initiate and maintain communication. To find the clearest and most evident example of this one cannot go past the Word of God itself.

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it.” – John 1:1-5

“In the past God spoke to our forefathers through the prophets at many times and in various ways, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed heir of all things, and through whom he made the universe. The Son is the radiance of God's glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word.” – Hebrews 1:1-3

God himself shows and sets the example by speaking to us through creation around us, through His Word, but most clearly through His Son, Jesus Christ. There is no one better qualified to speak on God’s behalf than the Son because he is “the radiance of God's glory and the exact representation of his being”

And because of that, we’d better well sit up and LISTEN to what he has to say!!!